The Power of ACCEPTANCE by Eliyahu Jian
Vital Transformation’s senior kabbalist, Eliyahu Jian shares a secret about the concept of acceptance for those who find it difficult to connect to the Divine. How are they related? Read on…
We all have a concept of acceptance Eliyahu explains, acceptance by others, acceptance by God, accepting ourselves, our values. It is one of the fundamental aspects of interacting in this world.
If we look at our universe, one of the most important things that people are looking for is to be accepted. We all get excited to say “I’ve been accepted to college”, why? It signifies a level of achievement. People want to feel accepted whether it is to a college, a club, a group of friends in the neighborhood, or even our own family.
The question is why? Where does it all begin? Where is that drive to be accepted come from? Why do you want to be accepted?
Every teenagers and child exhibit a thirst to be accepted. It is a driving force no matter what your age or gender.
Nothing is more powerful. Why?
A wife wants to be accepted by her husband and the husband the wife. Children want to be accepted by the parents, parents want to be accepted by the children. We all live in with that drive called desire to be accepted.
We dress a certain way to be accepted into the milieu we want to attract. Let’s take a spiritual look at this driving force for acceptance and I can’t stress the importance for you seeing the connection between that feeling within us and God the creator.
According to all forms of spirituality, there is a basic tenet about the same three forces : you have the creator, meaning the divine, the individual and the “other”, meaning another person. The three components to genuine connection and healthy, well balanced relationships.
Now what does that have to do with acceptance? Whether by God or the other person or myself?
What is missing in the world today? Connection. Connection to a force, something higher, connection to the divine, connection to an understanding of the Divine.
When we are connected to a Divine source, we carry that awareness into our relationships. We know how it can make a difference. But it is even deeper than that. When we connect to that divine source and recognize we are totally accepted by that force we call the Creator, that shift in consciousness of feeling totally accepted by the Creator is going to have a powerful affect on how we communicate with others and what we perceive about other’s communication with us.
The biggest crime within is that we are so busy to see who is accepting us instead of developing an “angel” within us that will urge us to accept other people!
All day long we’re busy looking for who is accepting us instead, who is giving us approval.
I was in Italy one time and I was sitting next to a family, the wife wasn’t getting positive acceptance from the husband, she got that energy from the airport security guard who gave her a compliment.
Sometimes we become thirsty for love that is always approving. Thirsty for acceptance, feeling important, validated, feeling we have value to our spouse, family friends. But there is a hidden danger there that you lose touch with your belief in a higher force, a connection with whoever serves to fills us up with affirmation. So where do we go?
You start looking for acceptance from anyone who will provide it. Who will give you that fortifying energy? It isn’t a sin. I see many husbands going through the same thing.
They are not getting compliments from their wife, so right away they fall into the addiction of seeking acceptance, approval from outside. So they look for any woman in the room who will tell them how great they are. And then they get fulfilled, but what they are forgetting is that there is a higher force who can provide an infinite source of that kind of acceptance.
Do you believe that that higher force called the Creator, the Divine or whatever language you want to call it who accepts you? Genuinely accepts you just the way you are? Or do you believe that that force called the Divine is not accepting you?
Too often we secretly don’t believe it. So we are look for a little attention from a human being and you will undoubtedly get it and then 5 minutes later you will be empty again. It’s the number one cause of cheating. People don’t cheat because they hate their partner. People cheat because they want to be accepted. They want to be accepted, they want to be loved, but if they feel their wife or their husband or their partner is not accepting them they don’t call it cheating, they are looking for love somewhere else.
There are many couples who cheat on each other; I ask them how did it start? It always starts in the same way. Their love life goes on empty they don’t feel accepted by their partner so they have to go somewhere else
Think about it, if you feel truly feel you are accepted by the Divine you have enough power to restrict looking elsewhere for it. So if at least 50% of you is fulfilled up with that comfort of being accepted by the Divine, it is enough to insulate you from feeling ignored by your partner, your friends, your community.
One of the most important things is not to have self doubt about the fact that the Divine, the Creator is accepting you. Never doubt it. Once you doubt it everything starts to fall apart. You need to feel how you are accepted by the Creator just as you are.
Otherwise we go into the two player game and that is where you set yourself up for disagreement. If you make it three, you, the Creator and another, only good can come from it.
So, what to do if you feel guilty and so you feel God is judging you? The sin for which you feel guilty is giving you the feeling of not being accepted. Whenever you do a mistake you have to believe the Creator loves you unconditionally. Our own self-loathing creates a blockage, a curtain between us and the Creator.
What if you don’t even believe in a God? The act of accepting others has amazing ability to connect us to the Creator. How? We see someone doing something negative at that moment you stop accepting them. You disconnect from them and then you are no longer acting as the Creator.
So what happens? When we disconnect from others we disconnect from God ourselves. God is sending you “wrong people” every day. Those wrong people are coming for one reason, to make sure that you learn to accept them as they are and when you do, you will be able to accept yourself as you are.
If you don’t accept yourself you will not be able to feel how the Devine can accept you the way you are. It is a unique concept that can change the world. Ultimately people who are depressed have disconnected from those around them and failed to accept others with their frailties and thus they have become even unaccepting of themselves.
I know a person who would rather be poor and miserable, no love life, just so people give him attention. And the shortest way to get there is being visibly needy, sick and choosing that rather than helping themselves. “Victim.com” soliciting pity so people give them energy.
Not accepting responsibility for ourselves is a painful lesson. Accepting responsibility can change your life overnight! We draw all kinds of negative situations into our life by our need to feel and extract acceptance by others.
What are you drawing into your life? Remember the cure is in accepting others. Look at your life and ask yourself who are you unwilling to accept.
We can’t shift gears and move forward without acceptance. When Jesus went around curing people with Leprosy, he accepted them the way they were and miracles happened.
Sometimes we have to go through a test, a hell on our way to Heaven. Why? If you look at that tough time you learned to accept yourself. It is the time we really discover ourselves. When you learn to accept yourself you can accept that God too is embracing you with acceptance.
The first step is accepting ourselves then feeling the acceptance of the Creator and then recognizing others acceptance. The tool to use to start accepting yourself is to begin to accept those who you had previously not accepted as they are.
The beautiful things about Kind David, he was a shepherd before he became a king. He accepted himself as a Shepherd and didn’t look for external acceptance. That was his secret and thus he accepted others. What makes you a king is the power of acceptance.
In the beginning of creation the Divine wants to give us everything. Why don’t we have it? As the receiver of God’s grace we are not yet there with our certainty that we can have everything. Our lack of acceptance makes us feel underserving down deep. Acceptance induces us to take responsibility despite the suffering to become our authentic selves. The creator wants to give us everything, but we need to be there with a heart full of acceptance.
Where ever we are right now think how the universe was created just for us.
With that self confidence that we are accepted we can show tolerance to others as well. When we accept ourselves our present situation we begin to see how we can take a step in a new direction.
What price are we paying to be accepted by others, to be approved by others? Knowing now that you are accepted by the Creator you can let go of the need to conform to get approval. It frees you to be you!
Moses received the Torah from God, but it says Moses “gave” the Torah giving of the Torah but from Moses point of view it was receiving, Ultimately it is all one because we are living in a universe of ups and downs, we get stuck.
Anger issue? So accept it. Then you can change it. Come and talk to me if you want support to take the first step of self-acceptance, I will be glad to help you get started. It is the first step to truly connecting to the Divine!